There is something scary about falling in love. It means you fall for someone, and that you are no longer mindful of just yourself. It means that someone else has in some way injected themselves into the decisions you make, the plans you plan, and the ideas you start to create about your life. It also means there is the unwanted, yet realistic chance for an end to come crashing down on you like a violent tsunami that has no care for what it wipes out.
Every ending is simply a beginning in disguise. Romantically this is not only a hard pill to swallow, but one that feels like it’s lodged in the back of your throat with no intentions of being fully digested. Endings are excruciating reminders that we have failed. However, this couldn’t be farther from the truth.
When a relationship ends you are left with a hole in your heart. You forfeit your plans with someone else and the future you started to create. It’s one of the hardest things to do. To end your ties, your entanglement, your bond with someone else. And it’s not just someone else, it’s someone you’ve grown to love, your best friend. Someone who has planted a seed in your heart that blossomed into a forest within your soul. Trees of lessons, of memories, of specific moments in time.
And that is why it hurts so badly when you, for your own reasons, feel forced to burn that forest down. To feel its magnitude crumble and its beauty fade. The withering from the inside out that feels like a piece of you has been ripped from the ground that is your grounded being.
At first it feels like nothing will ever allow fresh soil to emerge from the torturous inferno that you’ve created inside. Fire ripping apart what photosynthesis created within that forest of your love. You’re left longing, wanting, constantly questioning. But because you are made of water, you are able to extinguish the fire that burns so deep with tears that come more often than you can understand. And through more time than you often want, but later realize you needed, you are able to see the beginnings of lichen emerge. It’s not just chemistry, but a type of biochemistry as fire synthesizes its surroundings to create something new.
And just like that a symbiosis signifies the emergence of your heart being healed. Slowly the fire that felt like it was wrecking havoc on your being shows itself to actually be the forced adaptation your soul’s journey needed in the survivor’s quest for love. For we start to understand that love is not something we have to have to survive, but rather something we yearn for as beings with the desire to share life with others. A way to be in a world outside of ourselves that makes it feel less daunting, crazy, and immense.
As you find your inner light again, you are able to create the beginnings of a new forest that doesn’t rely on the seedlings of someone else. It welcomes new fauna and flora as you create a world of exotic foliage that is more colorful and wild than anything you can imagine, but exists because of the sun that shines within. Your light, the one that burns so bright. That at one moment in time could ignite a fire so strong that it felt as if you turned on yourself.
And because you’ve adapted with an evolutionary process that is far more advanced than how you went into your past relationships, your world doesn’t revolve around the infatuation of love. Instead you understand it’s about the joy that comes when you meet someone else who’s stare sends you not into the pits of your being, but rockets you into the starry night sky. An dazzling wonder where lights are fading all around you, yet you feel the universe’s infinite eternity. Your mind left to dance weightlessly understanding that you had to destroy everything to find yourself higher than you can imagine
You may have yet to realize the process that must occur to get to this point. Or you may feel stuck in the inferno where everything is full of smoke and nothing appears quite clear. No matter where you stand in this present moment my darling, know that when you are ready, truly ready, the magic and science of your own being will show you the process of rebuilding a planet, and creating a new world.
For we aren’t all just stardust. We are entire planets of elements and electricity combusting to make sense of the other billions of worlds around us. So keep making mistakes, keep sharing your soul, keep letting love guide you because eventually you will find that you’ve built not just a forest, but an entire world of wisdom and knowledge that puts fires out before they kindle into what feels like an apocalyptic heart break.
The only thing guaranteed in life is that eventually it will come to an end. So do not be afraid to give life to something new because your planet is far more resilient then you can fully understand in this moment. And when you do meet your match, your planetary mate, you will appreciate all the seeds that had been planted before that much more. For they made it possible to get this moment when saying, “I love you,” comes from a place within you that you never knew existed. When sitting and doing nothing next to someone makes time pause in the sweetest sensation. Where you exist and live all at once, and you’re not afraid of what lies ahead, but beyond ready to feel the future in every way. Where you feel not a burning passion of lusty desires, but a quiet, kind, and loving love that keeps you calm and excites you in every way. Where you stand up for yourself because you are standing up for the us you’ve found yourself apart of.
So wherever you find yourself in this evolutionary metamorphosis know it will keep going. It will keep going until you’ve given yourself the real love you needed to find within, and the work you had to tend to in order to have that chance moment when two atoms collide and a brand new world is created.
How amazing it all is! But more than anything, remember how amazing and resilient you are in this stroke of luck that allowed your planet to thrive and survive in this galactic way.
If you’ve loved and lost, or if you’re in love, feel free to share these words, so that we all may feel the love that flows through our shared experiences.