We all have them.
Some are big, some are small, but no matter what the size, they are very real.
We tell our peers and ourselves a series of lies to try and convince everyone, including ourselves, that we are in fact fine. However, we are not.
We avoid them, hide from them and mask them with different feelings, substances and any other tactics we can think of employing. We run circles around ourselves, ruin relationships and force ourselves into craziness because we are afraid.
Afraid to look at that person in the mirror, and say I am not who society wants me to be. I am not who I have been taught I am supposed to be. I am not me for me.
Whether it is your weight, your sexuality, issues with your parents, or whatever it is that you beat yourself up for deep down inside, know that you are not perfect. You will never be perfect. You are not supposed to be perfect.
But you will be ok.
Perfection is an idea that we’ve been fed to make us want more, push harder and look for greatness. However, when you allow the idea of perfection to consume you, you drown your own happiness in a black sea that has no bottom.
Taking that first real-long-hard look at yourself in the mirror, and saying I am (insert demon) is the first step to allowing yourself to be truly happy, allowing yourself to heal, allowing yourself to be your truest you.
The day you admit that you are gay, have problems with your weight, have an eating disorder, have problems with your mom or dad, or whatever else the case may be, is the day you get to start a new chapter. It is the day you show the world your authentically-imperfect-beautiful-bright colors.
This day will be the scariest day of your life because it is the day you tell the world, ”I am not who you think I am!”
You may lose friends, you may lose a job, you may lose a lot, but what you gain in return is your life, and nothing is more valuable than that.
A lot of people think that the day they openly admit to what has been holding them back is the day that everything gets better, but the truth is this is the real beginning of your journey. This is the day the real work starts.
“Coming out” is giving in to yourself in a sincere way, but it does not mean you have dealt with your problems, your demons, your anxieties. It is simply the first step in a lifetime journey of understanding yourself.
Too many people avoid doing the work because it is hard, tiring and scary. You have to address serious things that have occurred in your life, and come to terms with relationships, events and people that have mistreated you, and sometimes in ways you did not even realize. Painful does not begin to explain the emotions you will feel, but as you continue to work on yourself the pain dissipates, and the light shines through.
Your demons do not have the right to stay with you forever, nor should they. Give yourself the greatest gift you can, and work on you. You work on so many other things, so why not put the time in for your greatest creation, yourself.
Lots of Love,