The late twenties.
It happened so quickly. Just a few days in and I am already having a hard time remembering it happened. I turned another year older. I moved up the number ladder. I matured technically, physically and literally.
Getting older doesn’t scare me. It doesn’t freak me out. It doesn’t do much of anything to me. Rather, it reminds me time is passing, goals are evolving, life is happening.
I know twenty-six is barely a scratch in the totem pole of life, but I recognize that as I am getting older life is only getting better, more enjoyable, more under my control. I don’t feel as helpless as I did when I was fourteen, eighteen, or even twenty-five.
Twenty-five was a hard year for me. A big year. A year of unknowing change. I lived what many friends and I have coined the “quarter-life-crisis,” which may sound funny, but is a very real thing. I broke up with my first love, switched career paths and moved cross-country yet again. Shaving my head was the icing on the cake. Everything I imagined was no more.
I went back to New York City. Lost myself, my essence, my core. Winter wore on me. The snow punished me. I longed for a place I truly didn’t love. Hell, I longed for everything and anything because nothing felt right, settled, joyful. I was in an abyss of limbotic thoughts and circular motions. A Barrett Bermuda Triangle.
Time passed. Fall turned into the harshest winter ever. Winter has begun to turn into the most welcomed spring. A rejuvenation, a birth, a proliferation of happiness and excitement has sprouted from the ground inside me. My personal new year has begun and I don’t feel like my old self again, but rather a new, more empowered, evolved self.
The sun has returned and with it comes a new course, a new plan, a new action. I see farther than I ever did in my own future. I see things I never imagined. I know now that all is not even close to lost.
I recognize that moving back for the hardest winter I have ever dealt with was to break me down, so I could build back up into a greater being. Find my new self. Be more than I thought I could be. My positivity simply hibernating, growing stronger for a new commencement.
For the first time in my life I have a better idea of what I want, where I want to go, and what I want to do. Sure, it still isn’t clear as glass, I’m still playing with ideas and I am beyond open to opportunities, but life seems more doable now. Optimism reigns supreme. Positivity flows. Excitement radiates.
I am ending a huge chapter. Putting the final punctuation on the first twenty-five years. Saying goodbye to an old friend. I look back with no regrets, fond memoires, and remembrance. I am holding on to my life-experiences, buckling up for epically amazing new ones and opening my heart even more for what is yet to come.
One quarter life down, who knows how many more to go.
Here’s to the first 25, the next 25 and then the 25 after and so on and so forth.