Buyers Beware

I am not all I am cracked up to be.

Photographer: Michael Epps

My image, my personified self, my social media profile are not me.

The photographs you see of a scantily clad man are not who Barrett Pall is. A sexy smolder, a suggestive sense, a pair of underwear are all part of a career. A fraction of an aspect of me. A single paragraph in my novel. A mask of emotions, thoughts and feelings.

I share my life, my pictures, and a lot of my deepest feelings as a way to spread a positive message, source of inspiration and constant reminder to myself how beautiful life can be. While doing so, I have come to find that I am not necessarily garnering the attention I would most appreciate.

In a culture where sex sells, I have understood that it can be beneficial to lead with just that, an idea of sex. Many of my modeling jobs require a certain “sexiness,” and it is fun to play that part, which is all it is, a part. A part of me that is very small in the context of who I am. In real life, I am just another guy, who has insecurities and hang-ups, and yearns for more. I do not wake up feeling sexy, I do not go to bed feeling sexy. Hell, most days that word is something that wouldn’t come close to defining me.

 

I have lead with my looks in many cases because it was something that I had not felt validation for until recently. To be honest I had not felt any validation until the past few years of my life in almost all ways, but as I have matured I realize that this is a false sense of validation. The only way I can think to describe it is like when someone loses a lot of weight, but still feels as if they have all those pounds still on them. A disconnect arises, a curiosity is bestowed, and you are both empowered and hindered by the same force.

Photographer: Michael Epps

I want to do more than be a face, a body, a picture. I want to be a powerful force that leaves this world better than how I came into it. I want to be someone that reminds others that no matter what you look like, where you come from or how old you are, we all face challenges. I want to show you that you aren’t alone in your struggles, obstacles, boundaries. I want to be the person to ignite flames inside of others all around the world, to make change for the better. I want someone to get to know, to maybe love one day, to journey through this thing we call life with.

Photographer: Michael Epps

 

I am beyond grateful that I have been able to garner an audience of some sort. It is something that I feel so privileged to have. It is something that I want to do good for and with. I do not understand why I have gotten so lucky, but it is something that I pledge to use for a greater betterment of man. I know this sounds so much grander than I am, but I want to think in a grand scheme. To be bigger than myself.

It has been disheartening to meet people, in all different contexts recently because I have been unfairly judged based off of preconceived notions.

Facebook, Instagram and Twitter are all means of continuing my livelihood, please don't mistake that for who I truly am. I will be happy to shake your hand, say hello, and go from there.

It's overwhelming how people can create a story based on a few images of who you are. So buyers beware, I am not in fact that idea you have, but get to know me and you may or may not be pleasantly surprised.

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Posted on May 19, 2014 .