After only a few months of getting to know each other, you’re not quite sure where the “relationship” is going, but you know that you are enjoying getting to see this human being. You have sleep overs, hangouts, and you’ve begun the process of meeting each others friends. You share thoughts and ideas, wants and desires, and vibing in general feels really good.
Then you hear them say your name in a different way, their look changes, and you know what’s about to happen. You’re being dumped.
Can you even call it getting dumped? You were never official. You did meet his brother and sister in law, who were lovely. Once. You took a trip to a foreign country together, which was super fun. Once. But there was never any talks about what you were, or where “it” was going.
You were just two people enjoying the process of getting to know each other, or at least that is what you thought. While you weren’t in love, it still makes you question yourself.
Am I too much? Am I good enough? Am I attractive enough? All these questions swirl in your mind, and that negative voice in your head grows louder and louder. You know it isn’t healthy, and you know you’re a catch in many ways, but you can’t help and allow your ego to feel bruised and hurt.
Sure, you want a relationship, but it wasn’t like you needed to get married tomorrow. You just really liked having someone sweet around, who gave you compliments, made you feel good, and who you got to be there for as well. You liked sharing bagels at 3 am, laughing, and then going home together. You liked bopping to music, hearing about what they wanted out of life, and being inspired by someone who was also inspired in some ways by you.
Yes, you weren’t falling in love yet, but you saw yourself being able to fall in love with them in the future, and that is what a mature relationship looks like. Thinking you’re in love right away, as we learn, usually means you’ve confused lust for love, and that shit ain’t healthy. Simply put, this just felt different, easier, and in many many ways, lovely.
But that’s all over for now because you got dumped.
Here’s the thing though, you’ve been in this place before. You’ve been dumped before. You’ve dumped someone before. It’s the circle of dating, and while it hurts now, all you have to do is remember that this too shall pass.
Yes, you liked this good human. They were even kind enough to sit down with you face to face, and communicate maturely where they are at in life. You understand as much as you don’t want to, and because of that you accept that you are just not who they are looking for at this point in their life.
It sucks. It sucks a lot, and it’s ok to admit that. However, the key is to not get stuck in these harder feelings, and to remember that this too is just another lesson.
Yes, we all want to find our lobster, our penguin, our person, but we can’t force anyone to be with us, nor do we want to. Timing is everything, and right now it’s your time to be dumped, take some time to reflect, dust yourself off, and continue to hike your own hike because that’s all we can do until someone even more amazing comes to join us on this wild adventure we call life.
Stay strong all my lovers and dreamers, your time is coming sooner than you know.