Day 9: Say Hello

Hey Boo, how ya doing?

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Doesn’t that sound fun?

Today is all about getting out of our comfort zone when it comes to being social, friendly, and communicating.

Saying hello is one of the easiest things to do, and is ultimately about connecting.

As humans we crave connection and being a part of a community. Engaging someone else sparks the possibility for a good conversation, making a new friend, or expanding your own world, so why not say hello?

Additionally how many times have we all allowed someone we thought was interesting or attractive to walk right past us, and ultimately out of our lives because we were too timid to say hello?

The more comfortable we get with approaching new people, the better we get at taking control of our own lives, and making things happen.

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CHALLENGE:

Today’s challenge requires your to go up to someone you’ve never spoken to, and say hello. You could’ve been admiring this person from afar for some time, or randomly come across them today. Regardless of who you chose, the key to this challenge is getting out of your comfort zone, and speaking to someone new in real life.

It may be scary, and totally out of your element, but I promise the more you do this the easier it becomes. 

It also feels really nice to engage with people rather than staring at your phone, or building up a story about someone your staring at. 

Just do it!

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EXAMPLE:

Sitting on the subway instead of reading your book, turn to the person next to you, and say, “how’s your day going?” It’s a polite, kind, and engaging way to speak to someone else.  

Say hello to the person at work who you’e been admiring for some time, but haven’t spoken

I’ve done this many times, and I can tell you I always end up enjoying my subway ride way more than if I was just sitting alone. I’ve met really interesting people, and while none of them have turned into life long friends, I know we both walked away from the situation feeling our days were made a little brighter. 

This isn’t about trying to pick someone up that you think is hot. Sure, that can be one way to go about this, but what we’re really looking to do is just spark a conversation with someone new.

Remember to have fun, that a friendly smile goes a long way, and just be open to being open.

You never know who you will meet, and how they can impact your life.

Happy Monday, lets start this week off right!

Day 8: Get Naked

Let’s do this.

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In order to fully love ourselves, we must love the skin we are in, no matter what.

Too often we pick ourselves apart because we don’t look like supermodels, movie stars, and other highly edited public figures. This isn’t helping us, and the truth is, everyone has their hang ups. 

We could make a list of all the things we don’t like about ourselves, but thats not productive, and to be quite frank, why shouldn’t we love all parts of ourselves?

Unfortunately insecurities about our looks usually stem back to our childhoods when someone made a passing remark, a mean comment, or bullied us.

Yes, we should want to be healthy, and the best versions of ourselves, but that isn’t going to happen the more we pick ourselves apart.

Today we finally learn to love every inch of ourselves. 

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CHALLENGE:

Your challenge for today is to find a full length mirror in the comfort of your own home, and stand in front of the mirror naked for 5-10 minutes. Then start listing all the things you like about your body.

This isn’t vain, this is part of being self-confident, self-loving, and creating change. 

5 minutes may not sound like a long time, but it'll be enough time to really look at yourself. It will be uncomfortable, it will feel forced, but this is something we need to learn to do.

If we can’t be naked with ourselves why should anyone else want to be naked with us?

We need to learn to love all parts of ourselves as they are right now because this is the body we have right now. 

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EXAMPLE:

Stand dead on facing front in the mirror, and slowly turn all while keeping your eyes on yourself in the mirror, and start saying something like: 

“I like my eyes. They’re blue and bright, and show my soul. They allow me to see the world, which is incredible. I like my ears because they fit my face, and help me hear incredible things like music, which I can’t imagine living without. I love my teeth because I have all of them, and they allow me to eat whatever I want without assistance. I love my legs because they let me move, and I don’t need help getting around.”

I think you see where I’m going with this. 

It’s not just about what you see, it’s about what all these body parts do for you.

Yes, it's great if you like what you see, and if you have physical attributes you like because of how they look. Just don’t let these things be what drives you because every single one of us will age. It just is what it is. There's no escaping it.

I know my insecurity about my nose stems from my dad saying it was big when I was a child. For years I wished to be taller because of the scrutiny I received from the modeling industry, and at one point or another, I’ve hated pretty much everything about the way I look because of the constant bullying I received growing up.

However, how unattractive does that all sound? It doesn't sound confident, sexy, or grateful for all the amazing things that my body does have going for it. Furthermore, these things, which don't actually need to be fixed, aren’t going to change unless I decide to spend a stupid amount of money manipulating them.

These negative thoughts about my body weren’t helping me, and yours aren’t helping you. 

If you woke up this morning, can walk, can feed yourself, and aren’t physically dependent upon anyone else then you’re already so much luckier than millions of people out in the world.

Yes, you should want to be a healthy weight, and a have a body that operates at maximum efficiency, but this goes deeper than that.

Society has encouraged us to be vain, so that we constantly are left wanting something, or thinking that if we do spend all this money fixing our exteriors that we'll finally be happy. It truly comes down to making money. The unhappier we are, the more we try to mask that unhappiness with clothes, makeup, plastic surgery, and the list goes on. I'm going to let you in on a big secret, some of the most beautiful people I know, aren't happy at all because happiness, confidence, and peace come from within.

So stop beating yourself up, and be grateful for your incredible body. It’s doing amazing things!

The more we fight this body, the more our bodies will fight us, so give in to this body. Your body is a temple. Love it. Honor it. Be kind it to. Enjoy it because one day you’ll look back, and think, "Damn, my body wasn't as half as bad as I thought it was. It actually was pretty amazing." So thank it for all it has done up until this point.

Our bodies have gotten us this far, so let’s continue to love them, and take care of them to the best of our abilities. 

P.S. You’re way sexier than you realize.

Day 7: Forgiveness

Why hello again!

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Today’s challenge is about letting go, moving on, and forgiving. Ultimately what today’s challenge is all about is healing.

When we let go of pain and hurt, we allow for something greater and far more positive to take up valuable space in our minds and hearts.

Forgiving someone who has hurt us can be really difficult. There’s a big chance that it will bring up some hard feelings that we probably haven’t fully dealt with, and it might require us to dig into some heavy emotions. 

However, until we accept what has happened, processed the situation, and made peace with the person, we won’t ever be able to fully move on. Moving on, and taking back the power we’ve given to someone else, allows us to be 100% responsible for our own lives.

We not only want, but need to be, in the driver’s seat that is our own lives.

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YOUR CHALLENGE:

I want you to forgive someone in your life, who you feel has done you wrong. This is an extremely difficult challenge, but it will set you free from the burden of letting that person live rent free in your mind. 

How crazy does that sound? 

You’ve given someone else, who probably doesn’t even know they hold that place in your mind, prime real-estate, which could be given to a million better things.

Saying, “I forgive you,” to someone, who has hurt you may sound crazy, but what you’re actually doing is allowing yourself to heal, move on, and grow.

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EXAMPLE:

I would suggest writing a letter to whomever you chose to forgive, and then just leave it be. You don’t need to send it, and it may be in your best interest to just hold onto it for sometime. 

You don’t know how the person you are forgiving will react, and to be honest, this isn’t about them. 

This is about you. 

Sending this forgiveness letter would come with a set of expectations. Expectations are dangerous as they come with the possibility of disappointment, which is a feeling you may already associate with this person.

There are some things that feel unforgivable, and I totally understand that, but I promise you’ll feel a weight lifted when YOU heal the scars that someone else left. 

Yes, in a perfect world this person would’ve already apologized, and maybe they have, but you haven’t fully forgiven them for whatever reason.

However, the world isn’t perfect, and as we are coming to terms with, neither are we.

Allow yourself the gift of forgiveness and the chance to heal, and I know you’ll feel lighter and lighter.

Take back your power, you amazing creature you!

Congrats on making it to the end of our first week. 7 days down and 23 to go!

Day 6: Apologizing: Part 2

I had a feeling I might see you here!

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Yesterday was kind of rough, but I know it must’ve felt good to finally give yourself a break!

It’s time we take this whole apologizing thing one step farther, and say we’re sorry to someone we’ve hurt in some way. 

No one is an angel, and we’ve made mistakes too. 

When we apologize to someone it doesn’t mean that we are necessarily admitting to fault. What it does mean, is that we care enough about another person to try and mend a relationship we care about, and ultimately show another person compassion, love, and kindness. Again, common themes in this 30 day challenge.

As many of us know, apologizing isn’t something we’re taught to do with ease and comfort. Saying, “I’m sorry,” and not trying to make excuses as to why we behaved in a certain way is extremely difficult. However, the better we get at apologizing, the more likely we are at maintaining our basic humanity.

When we say we’re sorry, what we are actually saying is,”I’m not perfect. I acknowledge I made you feel something other than loved, which is all I ever want to make anyone feel.” 

Again we are either spreading love, or something other than love.

Ridding ourselves of the idea of perfection is a common theme in this 30 day challenge, and the less we try to be perfect, the happier and more peaceful we will be. 

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YOUR CHALLENGE:

I want you to apologize to someone in your life, who you feel you’ve done wrong. 

This is an extremely difficult challenge, but if you completed the challenge yesterday, you know how good it feels to say, “I’m sorry.”

Saying you’re sorry to someone, who you’ve hurt is a mature, kind, and humane way of building the world up one wrong-doing at a time. 

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EXAMPLES:

• Write a letter
• Send an email
• Have a phone conversation
• Leave a voicemail
• Do it face-to-face

Just do it!

You may get an apology back, or you may get no response. No matter what happens, remember this is about you changing for the better, and learning to be the best version of yourself. That’s it. 

Again, we’re not perfect, and we’re learning to be ok with that.

Keep pushing for greatness. You’re doing amazing things so far this year!

Day 5: Apologizing

I’m so pumped you’ve decided to come back!

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Today is day 5 of our 30 day challenge, and it’s all about apologizing.

It’s going to be a deep kind of day, so get ready.

Saying we’re sorry is one of the hardest things we’ll ever have to do. Saying we’re sorry to ourselves is quite possibly the hardest thing we’ll ever have to do. 

When we do have this self-actualizing conversation we’re forced to be honest with ourselves in an uncomfortable way. This may be the very first time we’re truthful with ourselves, and it’s scary. Being honest means we’ll finally have to be aware of the hurt, harshness, and meanness we’ve treated ourselves with for so long, and usually don’t even think about.

We often say things to ourselves that we wouldn’t even think about saying to our worst enemy. This needs to stop immediately! 

We truly are our own biggest critic, but the thing is, it’s not serving us any kind of purpose, except to make us feel even more badly then we’re already made to feel from a lot of the world around us.

Additionally, we need to stop over apologizing for things that don’t need apologizing at all, which so many of us are beyond guilty of.

How often do you say you’re sorry for being confident? For being opinionated? For being yourself? For failing to due something that doesn’t have an affect on anyone, but yourself?

We’ve been conditioned to feel badly about doing so many things that we often end up saying we’re sorry as a reflex, which then detracts from our actual confidence. This is harmful, and not productive for our own well-beings, and the relationships with the people we care about the most.

We need to stop handing out apologies to so many people that aren’t deserving of them, and start building our own confidence up.

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YOUR CHALLENGE:

I want you to apologize to yourself. 

This is really really hard, uncomfortable, and will require you to be brutally honest with yourself.

It may take 5 minutes, or it may take a couple of hours, but regardless of how long it takes, do not skip this challenge, or half-ass it.

This may be the most important challenge of the 30 days, and is incredibly important to complete.

Write a letter to yourself. Make a video. Journal. Stand in the mirror and actually talk to yourself. Whatever works for you, just do it, and don’t judge it.

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EXAMPLE:

I want to make a note that I made this video over a year ago, but these are still things I’m working on, and I share my soul with you, so that you know you’re not alone in how you might feel.

Things will come up while you’re doing this that you didn’t expect to come up, just ride this apology wave, and let it flow. 

Remember you’re amazing, and should feel that way everyday, so stop beating yourself up. You’re doing your best, and if you truly don’t believe that then apologize to yourself for that, and let it go.

Change is happening, I promise, it just takes some time, gentleness, and love.

Trust me, I truly know how hard this is, but I also know you’re going to feel incredible at the end of these 30 days. Don’t forget to keep up with your other challenges. They’re just as important, require just a few minutes out of your day, and will continue to build you, and the people around you, up.

I’m proud of you!

Day 4: Kindness

So we meet again you beautiful human!

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Today is day 4 of our 30 day challenge, and it’s all about kindness.

When we approach everyone with kindness, we’re essentially approaching our own lives with grace and compassion.

A little bit of kindness can change someone’s entire life.

Being kind to others, and ourselves, takes just as much, if not less, energy as being negative and mean. Having a human interaction that is gentle, patient, and considerate says, “I see you. I recognize that you’re a flawed human being like myself, and I don’t think I’m better than you. Regardless of what I may have assumed.” 

When we approach others fully aware that they too, are trying their hardest to just get by, we give that person a much needed break, and by doing so, we ultimately give ourselves a break as well.

Being kind can come in small random acts of kindness, or gigantic displays of humanity. However, we must remember that just because we approach everyone with kindness, doesn’t always mean it will be reciprocated.

Thus, I present to you your fourth challenge.

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YOUR CHALLENGE:

For the next 26 days, I want you to do one random act of kindness for someone else. 

If you’re really looking to dive deep into this 30 day challenge then I highly suggest doing something for total strangers. 

Doing something for someone you don’t know, is the truest sense of a random act of kindness. You’ll most likely get nothing in return, and you’ll probably never see this person again.

Its an awesome feeling.

You might feel awkward and uncomfortable at first, but I promise the more you do this, the easier it becomes, and the more you’ll want to keep this challenge up.

Remember something that may seem insignificant like holding the door open for someone else, could change someone else’s mood, day, or even life.

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EXAMPLES:

• Holding the elevator for someone.
• Letting someone have your seat on the subway, bus, or train.
• Paying for the person’s coffee, who is behind you in life. (A personal favorite)
• Helping an older person cross the street.
• Helping someone else get a cab.
• Giving a homeless person money.
• Carrying something up the stairs for someone.
• Tipping more than would be expected to a server.

The list truly can go on and on.

Again, remember there is no act too big, or too small, when it comes to being kind. So stop being afraid to share your heart with the world, and let it sing with how amazing you are.

I promise you’ll feel the affects, and the universe will bring this kindness back to you in ways you can’t even begin to imagine.

Enjoy spreading the love!

Day 3: Reflecting

Fancy seeing you here again!

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Today is day 3 of our 30 day challenge, and it’s all about reflecting.

As we talked about yesterday, gratitude is the key to happiness, and part of being grateful is reflecting on everything in your life.

If gratitude brings happiness then reflection brings gratitude. 

Reflecting on our lives, and ultimately each day is highly important when trying to make sense of all the craziness swirling around in our minds. We often go over and over the same event trying to make sense of things, and today’s challenge is meant to help us figure shit out in a productive way.

We all have a lot going on in our lives: dating, working, trying to have a social life, exercising, maintain our family lives, paying our bills, and the list goes on. No wonder why we can’t turn off at the end of the day. Being an adult is hard work, and there’s a lot we are responsible for. 

However, we need to turn off our phones, disconnect from the distractions of social media, and connect to the most important person in our lives, ourselves!

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YOUR CHALLENGE:

At the end of every day for the next 27 days, take at least 5 minutes to journal about what’s going on inside of your brain, whats happening in your life, or whatever.

There’s no right or wrong way to do this. 

Taking time out of your day, specifically at the end of the day, will help you quiet the crazy in your mind, remove a mental file, and allow you to process all different types of events, occurrences, and interactions in a much more constructive and critical way.

If you have a hard time sleeping, as I do, I can almost promise this will help you fall asleep much easier and faster. It’s incredible how different I feel when I journal before bed compared to when I don’t.

I promise that if you just start writing, things will come up.

Think of it like writing a paper in college. You started with a topic in mind, and by the end of your paper you should’ve come to a new thought, which was your conclusion. It’s the same idea, but even more productive because it’s about your own life.

Lastly, make sure you end your journal with some sort of self loving message like: XO, Love Yourself, Love, You’re Awesome, etc. I know this sounds a little ridiculous, but it’s incredibly important to start loving yourself. If you can’t even write this down then you’re definitely not making choices that say you care about yourself.

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EXAMPLES:

Classic

Dear Journal,

Today I woke up early and exercised. I got to work a little late, but it wasn’t as big of a deal as I was worried about, and everything was fine. I had a big presentation that went really well, and I’m pumped it’s done. I think I killed it. Got out early. Headed to the gym, and had a killer workout. Went straight home, made dinner, and now I’m just finishing up the day by doing this. Feels good to just write. Glad I’m doing this.

Love Yourself,

Barrett

Bullets

• Woke up 
• Went to the gym
• Normal day at work
• Met up with Stacie for a drink
• Saw the craziest thing on the subway
• Made dinner
• Bed Time

You’re The Bomb,

Barrett

Feeling / Emotional

Today was a really amazing day. I don’t know what has shifted, but something has definitely changed. I feel like I’m really getting my shit together, and the universe is hearing everything I’ve been asking for. I met this amazing guy. He’s handsome, smart, and really understands me. I’m not going to rush anything, but it feels special. I’m excited to see where this goes, and I’m excited to continue on this path of being a better version of myself. Life feels like its all coming together, and Im super grateful.

Love,

Barrett

Question

Am I Happy?

Well, up until recently I thought I was super happy, but then I signed up for this 30 day challenge this awesome blogger is doing for the new year, and I’m not so sure now. I mean my life is fine, but it isn’t great, and I don’t love work, but thats normal, right? I think so, but I also know people who genuinely love what they’re doing. I think I need to really be honest with myself, and start looking for new opportunities to let my passions be a bigger part of my life. Maybe I’ll take up a drawing class, or go back to school? I’m not sure what I want to do, but I know I need to make some sort of change. This at least feels like a start. Well see what happens.

XO

Barrett

Other

• Draw
• Write poetry
• Write music

Again, there’s no right or wrong way to do this, just let yourself talk to yourself, and reflect on the day. It’s beyond cathartic, and you will find you're way less stressed out about everything going on in your life.

Personally, I’ve journaled since I was 12, but it was an on-again-off-again type of thing. However, a little over 3 years ago, I really got back into it, and that’s when I created this blog, and well the rest is history.

So remember this could seriously change your life, or just be an important part of your day. Whatever your journal becomes remember to be honest with yourself, and remain optimistic, kind, and loving.

Good luck, and enjoy the journey of journaling. 

Day 2: Gratitude

Why hello you gorgeous human being you! Today's the second day in our 30 day challenge, and the topic is, gratitude.

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Gratitude equals happiness.

As scientists, psychologist, and other professionals dive deeper into the study of happiness, the idea of gratitude is constantly proven to be the key to happiness.

It makes sense that the more we reflect on what we have rather than what we don’t have, the more likely we are to be aware of how lucky our lives truly are.

Additionally, if we’re constantly wishing for things, or thinking about everything we don’t have or want then we’re never going to be satisfied. Being dissatisfied is literally unhappiness.

The universe hears everything we say, so if we’re putting out some form of negativity, we will in return receive that back from the universe.

At the end of the day we’re all searching for happiness, and if just saying thank you to the universe is going to give us that then I say, “Why not be so f’n thankful?”

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YOUR CHALLENGE:

Start everyday for the next 28 days, by saying 5 things you’re grateful for. Do this at the start of the day, before you do anything else, and especially before you look at your phone.

I highly suggest doing this at the start of the day because no matter how cold, dark, or unappealing it is to get out of bed, saying 5 things you’re grateful for will start your day on the right note.

I promise this works.

This may be easy, but it may be extremely difficult. No matter what make sure to come up with 5. If it’s hard to come up with 5 then you really need this exercise more than you know.

I personally just make a mental note in my mind while I’m still in bed with my eyes shut, but writing them down is totally an option, just don’t do it on your phone. It’s too distracting, and that hard light shouldn’t be the first thing you see in the morning. Get a notebook, you’ll need one for the coming challenges anyways.

And if you forget to do them first thing in the morning then do them as soon as you remember. You can literally do this anywhere at any time.

Try to make each morning different, and try your hardest to not repeat the same things in a week. If you’re having a hard time thinking of things, think about what your gratefuls from the day before were, and what they mean on a deeper level.

Don’t judge what you’re grateful for because if it’s in your life then you should be glad it’s there.

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EXAMPLES:

Day 1

1. Family
2. Friends
3. Shelter
4. My job
5. My bed

Day 2

1. Support
2. Community
3. A safe place
4. Security
5. Comfort

Good luck, and congrats on making it to day 2! Also don't forget to subscribe to my blog below, so that you can receive these daily tasks in your email.

Day 1: Fear & Excuses

It's time we finally called ourselves out.

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How often do we not even try something because we’re afraid of failing?

This needs to stop immediately!

As someone who has completely shaken up his own life multiple times, and jumped not knowing where I might land, I can tell you that fear is a mental construction that is holding you back from living your wildest dreams.

We need to stop making fear based decisions.

Fear based decisions are ones that usually come with thoughts like:

• What if it doesn’t work out?
• What if I fail?
• What if I don’t like what I end up doing?
• It’s easier to stay at my job because I make good money. 
• I’m comfortable.
• The money is too good to leave.
• I'm not completely unhappy.
• It's like this in every city.
• All guys/girls act this way.
• The problem with all of these type of thoughts is that we’re probably trying to make excuses as to why we should stay unhappy.

Sounds ridiculous, right? 

The amazingly lucky thing is we have the opportunity at any time to start working toward changes that make us happy. It will start with small baby steps, and before we know it we’ll be taking far greater risks with a comfortable ease.

Today marks days one of your 30 day challenge to be better mind, body, and soul. Congratulations on making the decision to find out what your potential really looks like.

Are you nervous? Good that means you care. 

Are you excited? Good that means you care. 

Are you ready to get started? Whether you answered yes or no, it’s time, so let’s get to today’s first challenge.

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YOUR CHALLENGE:

Make a list of all the things you are unhappy with. It's a difficult task to be honest with yourself, but it has to happen.

Then make a list of all the excuses you use as to why your life isn’t as amazing as you believe it should truly be.

Be critical, don't rush, and really dig deep.

When you write down everything you've been using to hold yourself back, you start to see how frequently you negate yourself from being happy. 

Then do something to challenge yourself to figure out how you can remove one of these excuses.

BONUS CHALLENGE

 Ask someone you love what they think may be an excuse you use often.

The people that we love the most tend to see things we overlook in ourselves, and we can all use a little help, so don’t be afraid or defensive of what they may have to say.

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EXAMPLES: 

WORK - TIME

• “I don’t have enough time in the day to do the job that pays my bills, and start looking for another job.”
• Make a list of all the things you think you would enjoy doing.
• Then research what that careers typical salary, responsibilities, and credentials are.
• Finally commit 30 minutes to one hour everyday actively looking and applying to jobs that you would 
• enjoy.
• A big tip is to not let your pride get in the way, or be afraid of starting at the bottom.

LIVING SITUATION - MONEY

• “I don’t have enough money to move.”
• Look at the past year, and figure out how much you’ve been spending per month.
• Then start making a monthly budget that restricts how you spend by saving at least $100 a month.
• A big tip is change how you eat. Eating out is always more expensive and adds up extremely fast. 
• Start cooking meals like lunch, and watch the money roll in.

Now get to it, and HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2017 is going to be your year, so buckle up and get ready to enjoy the ride.