As millions of people around the world take part in Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, I am reminded that my roots fall in line with this, and that it may be the perfect time to sit with myself, reflect, and make so positive intentions. I mean, I’m sure this would make my ancestors happy, and it would only help me to be even more intentional in my life, so let’s do this!
I want to make it very clear, I do not consider myself religious, and even the word spiritual has brought its fair share of hang ups for me recently. However I will gladly accept a reason to sit and come up with a new code for myself that feels rejuvenating and sweet at this moment in time. Speaking of sweet, did you know that Jewish people dip apples in honey to symbolize the excitement for a sweet New Year? It’s believed that centuries ago, the apple was chosen as the fruit to be dipped in honey because of the symbols it holds historically.
I encourage you to read through my personal intentions, and if inspired enough, make your own. And if you’re feeling up to it, why not eat an apple dipped in honey? I mean it’s a tasty and pretty healthy snack.
I want to make a point that I purposefully chose to use the words: I, my, and mine. I truly want to set these intentions for myself. I do not want to make your intentions for you; however, I also figured it would give you guys the ability to call these things to action for yourself, or use them as a jumping point for your own.
On that note, I present to you MY intentions for 2020, or 5780 if you’re feeling festive.
Do things for myself that bring me joy, even if others do not understand how or why. Continue to take myself on dates, find moments to sit and meditate, and journal, so that I can go back later on and see how much things have changed. Use my breathe as a means to calm the mind. Remove unnecessary unconscious contracts I have made with others.
2. Honor my body!
Make more of a commitment to find things that I enjoy doing inside and outside of the gym, so that I may honor my temple, and keep it healthy, fit, and strong for years to come. Work to become more than 90% vegan, so that my eating habits coincide with my ethical and environmental beliefs. Moisturize more. Try sleeping on my back more often. Continue to remove alcohol from my life, and get more sleep!
3. Practice more mindful sex.
I want to have more meaningful body to body experiences that bring me joy, connection, and a long lasting relationship. Remember that each time I lay with someone naked, I give a part of myself to them, and personally, I do not want to keep giving away these valuable pieces of myself. Help remove the shame that we often place on casual hook ups, but step back from these things, and continue to ask myself, why am I taking part in something that has ultimately not brought the love, fulfillment, and connection that I want?
4. Enjoy being single and the process of meeting a partner.
In 2019 I finally found my personal joy in being single, and while I look forward to meeting my partner, I want to continue to enjoy this new found peace of mind. Understand that this journey is not about finding the one, but being open to meeting incredible people along the way, and just maybe one of those people will want to join me on this wild thing called life.
5. Say “no” more.
Say no to things that are not serving me. Be comfortable in and with saying no. Be confident in saying no. Stop making other people comfortable because no is considered a negative piece of language, and this a negative action to take. Sometimes saying no means self-care, standing up for what I believe in, and removing negative things from my life, which ultimately means no becomes a positive.
6. Settle down.
Become comfortable with staying in one place for a long period of time. Stop forcing myself to constantly be on the move because it is a way to avoid the difficult truths that I faced as a child. Understand that I have built a life for myself that is void of the evictions my family faced over and over again. Stop subconsciously, and now, as of this moment, consciously thinking I am going to be forced to leave the life I have built, and the comforts I have not let myself enjoy, but now possess. Understand that I won’t have to fear moving, if I chose to, and that the next time I decide to move, it will be by my choice, and that is a good thing. Understand that I am not destined to be like my parents, and I have broken this cycle in a big way. I don’t have to be scared anymore. Home is where I make it. Find and buy a piece of property that will be where I want to settle down for many years to come for myself, and when the timing is right, with someone else. Remember the adventure doesn’t end when I stop moving.
7. Let the past be in the past.
No more going back to old flames or lovers. No more holding pain from my parents because of actions that have already happened. Remove narratives that I hold as definite truths, and be open to the fact that things change. Be mindful that people will show you who they are in the ways they act, and what they chose to say. Forgive the past, honor it, make amends with it, but say goodbye to it.
8. Dream bigger.
Work hard to become a UN Global Ambassador through social media. Work for the ability to travel with NGOs and the UN to do more humanitarian work abroad and in my own country. Make even bigger changes on a global level. Stop holding back your book proposal, and send it off to literary agents. When someone gets it, they will help me make it a reality. Sell my book to a publishing house. Continue to work with brands that align with the messaging I look to portray as a human, but also start the conversation with brands, who may not be thinking bigger about doing so. Partner with a major media outlet to sell / create a missing piece of LGBTQ cultured media that I get to be a part of. Continue to remember that life is balance between work and relaxation, but become more focused on the things that matter.
9. Foster new relationships.
As I get older I recognize that it can be harder to make new friends. However, I think I am perpetuating this by saying this. I’ve recently met some incredible humans that I would love to get to know better, and bring into my kitchen cabinet. I want to continue to make time for all my friends and loved ones, but be open to creating more space for these amazing new connections. I can’t and do not want to be afraid of people who are not just like me because they will bring incredible new perspectives and insights into the way I think, which will ultimately makes my life more fulfilled and interesting.
10. Approach everything with love.
I have worked really hard to find love for myself, other, and the world. I want to continue to lead with the notions of love that I hold dear. Keep empathy, kindness, humanity, generosity, openness, vulnerability, and perseverance in my heart, my mind, my body, and my soul. Work harder to be even more loving and kind, especially in situations that make me feel frustrated, angry, or overwhelmed. Do not be a pushover, but understand that everyone is doing the best they can with the tools they have. That may not match my toolkit, and that is ok. Come into new interactions with loving vibes. Remove judgements. Stay humble.
And because I am someone that doesn’t like to follow the rules, here is an 11th intention that I have held since I hiked 800 miles on the PCT.
11. Hike my own hike.
Continue to do things my way. Continue to be open to collaboration, a meeting of the minds, and compromise, but recognize when I am starting to give up parts of myself that are beautiful and I enjoy to make someone else more comfortable. It is not my job to make sure everyone else is enjoying their time, especially if I am giving up my energy in a self-harming way. Continue to be a weirdo. Continue to stand up for what I believe in. Continue to be a rule breaker. Continue to be unapologetically myself. Continue to live my life to the fullest.
Well, there you have it. My intentions for 2020, and in many ways the rest of my life. I originally thought I was just sitting down to have a cute moment, and write something new. By the time I got to number 6, I realized that this was an incredibly important step I had to take if I was going to truly break, deep-seated, and useless cycles. I had to stop during number six, cry, take a minute, and sit with this big truth. I share this so that you can see how powerful setting intentions can be, and why you too should take some time to sit with yourself for yourself’s. Any action that connects our mind, body, and soul is an action I want to take part in, and I can’t encourage you enough to do so.
Whether you are Jew that celebrates the Jewish New Year, or someone that just wants a little more sweetness and intention in their life, I wish you Shanah Tovah.